The Cat Fiasco
by LunaLikesSimonCats
Summary: Cinder, Roman, Emerald, Mercury, and Neo have a run in with a lot of cats. Totally ridiculous.
**Hello, Wonderful Turtles! I swear, I was originally going to write a horror thing, but this happened instead. I guess I was in a crack-fic mood.**

It all started on a completely normal day. Mercury was flirting with Emerald, Emerald was ignoring him and reading, Cinder was untying Adam from the ceiling, Roman was chasing after Neo, Neo was running because she'd been the one to tie Adam to the ceiling, and Adam was, well, tied to the ceiling.

None of them noticed the small cat that had wandered into their hideout. The only person that saw it was a White Fang grunt, but she assumed that it was Neo's and decided it was best to leave it alone.

The cat was silent as it wandered through the building, looking in each room. There was nothing of much interest to it, especially since it was looking for one thing in particular. Its padded feet made no sound against the ground, and it was very small, so no other White Fang members saw it.

Back in the common room, the whole Adam-and-ceiling thing was over, and they all sat around tired. Except Adam. He had left, because he did not want to be around Neo. Slumped in cushy chairs, the criminals did not interact, all too busy with their own books, scrolls, or thoughts. That is, until the previously mentioned cat ran in and meowed loudly.

Cinder opened her eyes. Mercury let out a shriek and stared it it, Emerald dropped her book, Neo jumped out of her chair, and Roman's head shot up. The cat sauntered towards them, meowing quietly, before lying down at Roman's feet. Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Um, Neo?" Emerald finally asked, "Is that your cat?"

Neo shook her head, her eyes brown and white. The criminals all looked at each other, waiting for someone to say 'Oh, that's my cat!' But no one did.

The said cat had fallen asleep on Roman's feet, and he didn't move it for fear he'd wake it up. Cinder was glaring at it.

"How did that get in here?" she asked, "This is supposed to be a _secure facility._ "

Roman shrugged. The others did the same, except Neo, who cocked her head and looked out the door curiously. Mercury looked where she was facing, and gasped. His grey eyes were wide with fear. Emerald cautiously looked in the same direction, followed by Cinder and Roman.

Cinder growled. Roman made a sound of confusion. Emerald screamed.

Coming down the hallway were over thirty cats, all of different colours, sizes, and breeds. They moved like a river, rushing into the common room. Cinder quickly stepped up to stand on her chair, while Mercury and Emerald jumped to do the same. Neo kneeled down and stretched her arms out to grab the cats, and Roman just stood there looking really confused.

The cats ran in all directions, a mess of fur and meows. Neo grabbed three, and one tried to jump onto Emerald's chair, but she kicked it off. Cinder was yelling about disorder and being found, but no one was listening.

The cats only spent a few seconds running without purpose. All at the same time, their little heads perked up, ears and noses twitching. All their eyes faced one person. Roman.

He barely had time to move before the sea of cats ran at him. The small cat from before awoke and hid behind Roman to avoid the oncoming cats. Everyone in the room watched as the cats surrounded Roman, clawing at his legs and biting his shoes. He was screaming, trying to kick them off him, but there were too many.

"NOT AGAIN!" cried Roman.

The only cats not attacking Roman were the three Neo was holding. She had them squished against her, and they were struggling to get away.

Throughout all the chaos, Mercury turned to Emerald.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked.

"I don't know! This doesn't make any sense!" she replied. In the background, the cats had now all banded together to drag Roman to the ground.

Neo let go of her captive cats and grabbed a notebook from who knows where on her outfit. Using a pen from one of the common room's side tables, she scribbled down something and showed the others.

 _This is Roman's Semblance. Cats are oddly attracted to him._

"Wha…" Emerald was at a loss for words. To her right, the crowd of cats completely obscured Roman from view. They must've succeeded in getting him to fall. Emerald shook her head, green strands of hair covering her face.

"You know what? I can't even be surprised anymore." she muttered. Mercury was watching the cats like they were a film, intently and excitedly. Cinder was gone, having stalked out of the room while no one was watching. And apparently, Adam had stalked in.

The bull faunus was standing in the doorway, looking at the scene before him. No one could see his eyes from under his mask, but they saw enough of his face to tell that he was in awe.

"So many Blakes…" he breathed.

"What?" asked Mercury, giving him a look.

"I said nothing," Adam monotoned. In the background, the cats were still meowing, but Roman's screams had stopped.

Adam left the room, carrying five cats he'd snagged from the group, and Emerald and Mercury turned to each other.

"Yeah, we should probably deal with this…" said Emerald, gesturing to the cats.

"And make sure they didn't eat Roman or something," replied Mercury.

The two nervously went towards the cats, though they had no idea how they were going to catch them all. They ended up running in and out of the room, carrying armfuls of cats and throwing them outside. Finally, twenty-seven cats, three arguments, and seventy-two scratches later, they managed to uncover Roman. He was beat up, covered in blood and smeared eyeliner, but alive. He was hyperventilating.

"No more cats, please," he pleaded, "No cats. Make them leave. No cats…"

This elicited a laugh from Mercury, which caused Roman to hit him across the jaw with Melodic Cudgel, which had somehow not been lost during the cat-fiasco.

And as for Neo, she watched from the hallway, holding the three cats once more. She laughed silently, shaking uncontrollably. It had taken a lot of planning, a lot of cats, to set this up, but it was _so_ worth it.

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